Monday, July 18, 2011


      "Dude, you have to get over your height complex," my friend Craig told me. "We're about the same size, and I rarely think about it."
      The first step in dealing with a problem is admitting it exists. Being short is considered undesirable for a male. It just is. There are thousands of Men's Big & Tall shops. There is not one Men's Small & Short one.
      Craig chooses not to see himself in an undesirable way, and that's easy to understand. But everyone else sees him that way.
      I'm not suggesting that what others think of you should influence your self-opinion. Realizing that you have a problem has nothing to do with whether you like yourself.
      A secretary with arthritis knows he has to work harder to impress the boss to make up for inadequate typing skills. He doesn't think less of himself for it.
      But if your self-esteem depends on denial of a real problem, it's about as useful to you as that one-size-fits-all bathrobe you bought on eBay that ties around your kneecap.
      Only 25 percent of American males are 5-foot-8 or under, 10 percent are under 5-foot-6 1/2 and 5 percent are under 5-foot-5.
       If everyone looks at you and notices the same something different, that's their problem, yes. But if you are required to function in their world, it's also yours.
      Although body length should make no difference in the way people perceive each other, it does. I'm writing this to motivate you, not depress you. But the fact is, if you are a short man (and I know you are since you've read this far), the cards are actually stacked so high against you, the tops of the piles are out of reach. 
      Incidentally, Craig has been out of fulltime work for years.
Universal Male Height-to-Fucked Ratio
5-foot-4                                                                                                                   .
or under                                                                                           .            
5-foot-5                                                                    .
5-foot-6                                                           .
5-foot-7                                            .           
5-foot-8                               . 
5-foot-9                  .         
or above   .
          Unfucked    Slightly fucked    Moderately fucked    Severely fucked   Totally fucked



  1. I think I saw this Height-To-Fucked scale once in a rate manual for John Hancock Life Insurance. Was on the page next to the "Weight-To-Fucked Surcharge" table.

  2. Oh, good to know I just eked by in the "unfucked" category. As for you, my friend ... sorry.